Katie McKinney- Professional Lover of Life (and her grandchildren)
“I just want extra minutes with you!” Katie said as she insisted on giving me a ride to the airport instead of me taking an Uber. Those 35 minutes with her are irresistible to pass up because Katie is not just my ride to the airport; she is one of my favorite people in the world. And surprise, Katie McKinney is my fascinating grandmother.
I have yet to come across another person who treasures life quite like Katie. She is the essence of what Moments Mag stands for. She takes every small moment and cherishes them with all she has. As she drove me to the Indianapolis airport after spending the Thanksgiving Holiday together, I asked her a few questions.
Katie was born in Chicago in the 1930s and moved to Indiana in 1950 with her parents, three brothers, and one sister. From the get-go, Katie loved being deeply involved in any community she was a part of. When she went to high school, she ran for vice president of her class and won, “I would’ve run for president, but girls were not allowed to be president at that time.” She said. Following high school, Katie headed to Bloomington, Indiana, where she attended Indiana University from 1956-1960. While at Indiana University, she was a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma and president of her pledge class, and later, the vice president of her house. She was also an elected member of the Indiana University Union Board, where she was in charge of planning events around campus.
I asked Katie where she got the confidence to be so involved everywhere she was, “My mother. My mother was never judgmental of anyone; she ruled the roost in our family growing up. She gave me self-confidence, no matter what. My siblings were all tall, and I was short, and she never picked on the way I looked; she was always there for me and encouraged me. In every negative situation, she would find the positive.”
Her mother, Madeline Judith Lenard Berry, was a model and a dancer and even had the chance to dance as a Rockette and was a coveted Camay Soap model, which was all of the rage at the time. Her father, Gilbert Irwin Berry, was a model and professional football player. He was voted the most handsome man in the United States, moved to Hollywood for a modeling career, then later played for the then Chicago Cardinals. I asked Katie what qualities of her parents she sees in herself, “My mother was so confident and kind, and my father was strong and more silent. I think I have a mix of my mother’s desire to be kind to others and my father’s strength. My parents were really good people, and I love them so much.”
Growing up, Katie said kids would poke fun at her here and there, but she really never let it get to her, “I feel like I lived most of my life like an ostrich with my head in the sand, but in a good way. I always saw the best in people and never really paid attention to any negative things people may have been saying about me. I always loved everyone and never had one friend group; I was kind of just friends with everyone. I think I was blessed by God to see the good in others. I think that is just what God gave me.”
Before graduating from Indiana University, Katie got asked to a school dance by a popular swimmer on campus, Frank McKinney Jr. Frank, then shortly after headed to the Olympics. At the same time, Katie stayed in Bloomington and started teaching sixth grade. Not long after graduating, Katie married her then-husband, Frank McKinney Jr., and the couple decided to move to Indianapolis, where Frank’s business was.
While Frank jumped into his business, Katie got involved in her new stomping grounds, “I decided to get integrated into the community, which was not an effort at all.” I always joke that my grandmother is the mayor of Indianapolis, and it’s true. To this day, people say hi to her everywhere we go, and she seems to have dipped her toe in just about every part of the city. Katie has made her impact known from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway to the world-renowned Children’s Museum and everything else in between. One thing in particular that Katie has a knack for and has possibly made the most impact on? Her children and grandchildren.
Katie has always loved children, hence her going into teaching. She also had six children herself. I asked her if she always wanted a lot of children, “Oh, I wanted 12! That was my goal. I just never wanted to be without a baby; in fact, if I could’ve been pregnant my whole life, I would’ve.” She continued, “It never felt overwhelming having six kids; I really loved it. And I never thought I would like the later years because I loved the baby years, but as each got older, I loved it, I really did. It was just all a part of life.”
Big families always come with a challenge or two, but Katie always had an optimistic attitude, “Of course, there were times when the kids were growing up, when you know, especially with your dad, where it was really challenging, but you do the best you can.” She looked at me and laughed endearingly, knowing well that my dad may have given her some gray hair when he was a teenager. She continued, “Parenting is all a guessing game. You do the best you can without any textbook that taught you. There is no college education on how to be a mom or dad. Everyone is just figuring it out as they go. I have always been a woman of faith, and my faith has helped me through motherhood.”
I asked how on earth she has managed to juggle so many personalities in such a large family and how to keep everyone happy, “I am not working on the making everyone happy part. I just want everyone to accept each other for who they are and forget any past situations. Let’s always move forward and love one another because we do not have much time. Forgive and forget. The most painful part about being a mom is when your family is not on the same page, you know?”
On the contrary, I asked Katie what her favorite part about motherhood is, “The best part of motherhood is the every day, I mean every day you are a mother. There are so many different needs and wants.” She then paused, grinned from ear to ear, and said, “But the best part of motherhood is getting to be a grandmother. That is your reward.”
Katie is a grandmother to 17 grandchildren. I can speak from experiencing it first-hand, but Katie has a way with her grandchildren. She can make each of us feel utterly special and like we are the only one in the room. She is completely present when she is with us. I asked her if she knew that she had had this effect on her grandchildren, “No, I didn’t know that; I guess I don’t think about it because I love my family. I really really love my family. And I think for most grandparents being present happens very naturally. I mean, it is just so hard to explain. It just happens and evolves that way.”
Katie lit up, talking about all of her grandchildren, “All of them are so diverse and different, but all of the cousins embrace each other, which I love. None of the cousins are judgmental of each other. One of the best things about having grandchildren is watching them grow up and seeing how much they love one another.”
I asked Katie what advice she would give to her 17 grandchildren for them to keep in mind throughout their lives, “I would say the golden rule, for one thing, do unto others as you wish they would to you, and the second is to be conscious of being nonjudgmental to others. One of my favorite quotes is, ‘Accept the people for who they are, not who you want them to be.’ I try to live my life that way, and I hope my grandchildren do too.”
Hanging in one of the playrooms in her home for her grandchildren reads a framed photo with the quote, “The joy of grandparenting is never being in a hurry. It is walking slowly with little steps, stopping to pick flowers and playing hide and seek all morning long…It is the joy of eating dessert first and reading the same book over and over, and being happy to answer, “Why?” for the 15th time… It is catching lighting bugs after dark, baking cookies for no special reason, and keeping all of their favorite things on hand. The joy of grandparenting is sharing your story and then becoming a part of theirs.”
That quote captures Katie perfectly. She squeezes so much out of each day. Savoring every moment big and small with her family at the forefront, “It is so easy to appreciate time,” she elaborates, “I feel there is never enough of it, though. I feel like during a day, I never accomplish everything I wish I could.” On behalf of your grandchildren, I can confidently say that you accomplish so much each day by simply being our grandmother. We love each other the way we do because of the example you have set for us. Your legacy is the way we care for one another and always will.
I love you, Aboo. Thank you for being a beacon of light for our family. You are the epitome of what I hope to be in a mother and a grandmother one day. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me.